The Sunshine Man (Happy Birthday Wolfgang)

Do you remember the TV show, The Munsters? The family of freaks who had the beautiful normal niece named Marilyn that they all treated like she was weird & she believed them? Well, Wolfgang is our Marilyn. When Wolfgang was first learning to talk, he looked around at each of us sitting at the dinner table and announced, "I don't fit!" and put his head down on the table. A very profound and true observation. Wolfgang is our "Golden Child". He was completely different from all of us in physical appearance, we are all dark haired, he was a round little baby with blonde hair and blue eyes & fat cheeks that made his eyes disappear when he smiled. We all thought he was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen, we would literally sit around and stare at him for hours on end. He was born into this house of high-strung expressive emotional bohemian drama. This little golden ray of sunshine, completely content and at peace... and happy. A HAPPY baby??? An EASY baby? A baby that when you laid him down he went to SLEEP? I had never had such a creature before. No drama and no needs. Wow. It wasn't long before we noticed another difference. Before he could walk, he could throw a football, baseball, any ball in perfect form. No one taught him this. No one in our house knew how to teach him this. So here we were, this weird eccentric quirky (but mostly just plain old weird) family with this little all American normal child. We had no idea what to do. We signed him up for theatre (of course), we took him to all the Shakespeare productions, bought him paints and art supplies, handed him all the best children's literature. We played Mozart & Beethoven, I showed him documentaries, introduced him to the best art & films. We are all about letting everyone here be who they are...but this kid wasn't responding to any of the homeschool interests we were trying so desperately to offer. He had learned to read, but never wanted to. One night came the turning point. This was right after I had killed Jane Austen so had been realizing the importance of liking what you like instead of what you are supposed to. On his way to bed I casually said, "Why don't you grab a book to read before you go to sleep?" He said, "Mom! I DON'T READ!" I said "But of course you read dear!" Then he said of course he knew HOW to read but he didn't LIKE to read. There it is. Now was when I could choose to slip back into blissful denial & choose to ignore the fact that I have a non-intellectual homeschooled kid, or I could stand by my beliefs to never control another human being and let all my kids become who they are even if it different from what is important to me. So I said, "Oh yeah? Okay then, I think I know something you might enjoy. I saw a commercial the other day at a friends house, and I happen to know a show called American Gladiator comes on the channel we get and it looked like something you would enjoy". He rolled his eyes and said, 'YOU would let me watch American Gladiator!?!" I said, 'Yep, comes on in ten minutes, enjoy." You should have heard the yelling and screaming and laughing for the next hour. My boy was in his element. So that was when I began to let go of my homeschool Ideals and remembered to start putting my child's interests first, not my expectations. So because of Wolfgang, I am trying really hard to switch gears at our house. I have to remember that Tallulah & Pierre are grown now. It is hard to get used to, but we are not really a "theatre family" anymore. At least not right now. It is Wolfgang"s and Hank's turn. And although we still don't know where in the world he came from, Wolfgang desires to be "normal". He is SO normal. He wants to wear Nikes & watch football. He would also love to live in a nice house in suburbia with sidewalks and fenced-in yards & cell phones and hot tubs. We can't provide those things (and wouldn't if I could) but I now coach soccer & watch football again. It has been fun changing gears, digging up old interests I used to have myself before we got all homeschooly intellectual elitist, hating television and sports. Now we watch The Simpsons and I am enjoying life a lot more now. Wolfgang is also my animal buddy. None of my other kids love animals very much, but Wolfgang does. When I was little I looked at my book of dogs for hours on end and he does the same. When he was little I finally returned a dog book he had gotten from the library and had loved the covers off of it. Now that he is older he is starting to enjoy us as much as we enjoy him. He likes to remind me that we aren't normal. I tell him normal is boring, present company excluded.. Hearing Wolfgang tell the following story to a friend had me laughing so hard I couldn't see to drive... In July, I am always overcome with a need for Christmas. Immediately. Right now. Want snow and Christmas trees and carols. And with coffee, I am always overcome with a burst of inspiration and creativity and let's just say...enthusiasm. Wolfgang feels I should lay off the coffee. After 3 cups one July morning last year, we are driving home from town and I am singing Christmas carols and suddenly am inspired to paint the house. Brown. With white scalloped trim. Maybe pink. Like icing!! And at Christmas we will put big gingerbread cut outs and candy canes and make our house a GINGERBREAD HOUSE!! Yeah! That's it!! Am VERY excited about all my new plans, but by the time we get home am about to pee my pants so make a mad run for the bathroom. About 20 minutes later, I scream, "OH NO!! WHERE ARE THE FROZEN NUGGETS AND ICE CREAM??!!!!" Wolfgang, my adult, calmly says, "In the freezer. Where they belong. I brought them in and put them away while YOU were running down the path screaming 'we will get round stepping stones and paint them red and white like peppermints!!' " So I really like my normal little kid. I will use all the money he has saved me in frozen food to buy him Nikes and take him to baseball games. So in attempting to show my son how to appreciate the finer things in life, I was ignoring what was fine to him. He has opened new doors to me and made MY world bigger, has me trying new things and I am having a lot more fun.

The above entry was the original. The original that I could not find on Wolfgang's birthday. One month later, I find it. The following is the one I pieced from memory & threw together. :) I like the original better, but parts of the new one I didn't want to delete or edit & copy & paste. Will tweak & fix later. So both versions...

This week my Wolfgang celebrated his thirteenth birthday! I can't believe it was 13 years ago that my beautiful little blonde haired blue eyed boy was born. The Golden Child. We have no idea where he came from. He is our Marilyn from the Munsters, the normal one in a family of Freaks. He was my easy baby, my content baby, my happy baby. He never needed anything. And he was SO beautiful. Dwayne used to call him Droopy because of his basset hound jowls. I used to stay home from church on Sunday mornings just to hang out with him and quietly enjoy his company. Literally hang out. He would sit in his little johnny-jumpup in the doorway (not jumping) & I would sit on the porch and read Education of Little Tree while he simply happily hung there in his little canvas bag on an elastic string. Just being still & quiet together. Needless to say, turning 13 means he is no longer still nor quiet...but he is still fun to hang out with & one of my favorite people in the world. When my friend Betsy asked him over 10 yrs. ago at church nursery one day how old he was, he said "Forty-six". When she asked him how old he would be on his next birthday, he said, "Forty-seven." Duh. For his second Halloween we dressed him as William Wallace & boy did he look natural! We used to all sit around and just stare at him. We all are dark he was golden. When he was 2 he looked around at all of us sitting at the dinner table & burst into tears & said "I don't fit". You said a mouthful, little guy. Not only was the kid completely different in appearance, he was totally different in every way. For one thing, before he could walk, he could throw a ball. Any ball. Perfectly. Hand him a football, perfect spiral pass. Baseball right to you. Basketballs...in the basket. It wasn't a phase. He didn't outgrow it. We tried theatre, because that's what we know how to do. The men in our family comfortably wear tights on stage, okay? He didn't go for it. Just doesn't go with the Nikes. For years we tried books. A whole house full of books. Shelf upon shelf of books. The best books. Not interested. He wanted to watch American Gladiator instead. He was born into this weirdo family. How did WE get a Cool Kid? A normal all-American kid who wants a cellphone & "stuff". When I tried to put Pierre's hand-me-down nerdy Hawaiian & little old man shirts on Wolfgang he looked ridiculous. It clashed with his cool. (but they look great on Hank) He wants to play ball, go to games, hang at the mall & he talks on the phone nonstop. (who told him about the mall??) So we are trying to adjust to him still & he to us. He has really stretched us. And has made me lighten up too. I try to remember to discuss this year's NFL draft instead of authors. I am trying to get accustomed to this new rhythm that my new teenager will require. It is new territory, but he is so worth the effort. He has made my world bigger & brighter. He is very dependable, my token grownup, he has always made me feel like he is the one taking care of me. He keeps an eye on the gas gauge and reminds me (constantly) to put gas in the car. He has also rescued many gallons of doomed ice cream from my short attention span. One day I walked into the kitchen after having returned from the store a couple of hours earlier and screamed, "#@!*!, OH NO, THE ICE CREAM?!" To which my Wolfgang calmly replies, "I put it away. While you were running down the path yelling '...and we'll paint the house brown & pink like gingerbread & make peppermint stepping stones!!' " My hero.
Of all my children he is my animal buddy. He loves the critters like I do so I am happy to have someone to share that with. He is a loyal friend, a strong leader, caring brother & loving son. He is a real guy's guy, a manly dude, but if a baby comes near, prepare to see him melt all over himself and quickly dissolve into ear to ear grinning. He likes everybody & has best friends from ages 4-19. I sure do love this little Sunshine Man that was sent to me. I can see a lot of my dad in him and that makes me very happy. I am proud of my son. I love that he is kindhearted to those who need it, has a great sense of humor & a very generous spirit. He really keeps me moving & also keeps me laughing. As he leaves childhood behind I look forward to knowing the man he will become. I am confident he will be someone I will like very much & can depend on. A good tenderhearted man. But for now, he is a great Sunday afternoon football buddy that I still love to just hang out with. He is fun to be with. When he was a baby, his Grandmother once made the comment to me that I was "just silly over that baby". I still am. He always has been and always will be one of my best friends. :) Happy Birthday Sunshine Man!. I love you, Wolfgang.